ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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