I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
