The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
