Don't you send me to vm
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
