a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
