there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
