she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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