Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
