We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
