worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
