spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
