i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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