Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
