HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
