Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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