My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
