dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
