you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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