tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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