You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
