if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
