Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
