dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize