What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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