Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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