Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.