The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.