I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
