So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
there is glitter all over my balls
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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