I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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