It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
