She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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