Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Who died my cat blue again?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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