Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
