it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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