It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
