But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
worst night to have a conscience
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
