he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
