I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
