I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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