eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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