If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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