so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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