How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
