even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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