I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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