I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Two words: nipple clamps
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