I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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