You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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