ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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