plz talk dirty to me
i permit you to call me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.