Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling