Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize