I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
