Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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