I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
