I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
