It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
