So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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