All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i think i just lost a toe
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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