Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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