I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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