I forgot how hot balto sounded
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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