i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
