So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
