Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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